I’m Tosh. Fly me.

Oh Iarnrod Eireann is known through the land,
An option when distances have to be spanned
From the wastelands of Cobh up to bustling Mayo,
But they won’t bring you where the damn train tracks won’t go.

Bus Eireann is great when you’re out in the sticks,
In need of a sharp agricultural fix.
Their tentacles reach out from Malin to Schull,
But the driver won’t stop if your bladder is full.

Oh back in the past, there were times when I drove
Through Cashel and Mallow and on down to Cobh,
But on the road home, I’d regard with dismay
The welcoming pubs that I’d pass on the way.

Oh sometimes I dream of a twenty foot chopper,
Although my wife says this is highly improper.
Away trips to Lim’rick would be quite sublime –
We’d be back up in Dublin before closing time.

Some folk see an offer and hurriedly book it,
Queue up at the station or else Thomas Cook it,
But whenever the Reds have a match out of town,
There’s only one way for the fans to go down.

Tosh Travel! Tosh Travel The ideal approach,
Discovering Ireland by luxury coach.
The craic and the humour have won much acclaim
And sometimes you’ll get there in time for the game.

Oh Tosh is a rare and a wonderful breed,
He knows every hedge that could do with a feed.
Like a wandering minstrel, he’s criss-crossed the land
And knows every route like the back of his hand.

He’s been hiring coaches since 1915,
Is acquainted with every small pub and shebeen.
The young and the old, the deprived and the posh
Are assured of a welcome when travelling with Tosh.